Friendship
The text for my sermon is from John Chapter 15 verses 12 -14 “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command you.
There was a minister who lived in Stanton, U.S.A. About 5 years ago during the Christmas season, a young man in his 30’s who lived on the upper floor of the next apartment block from where he lived, committed suicide. It took 10 days before he was discovered dead as his roommate was coming back home from a long holiday. Why did he commit suicide? Even today after 5 years or so, no-one knows the exact reason why he killed himself. But one thing the minister did know for certain was that he didn’t have a friend. No one cared enough about him to call or visit him while he had been dead for such a long time. He had neighbours including the minister, but no one was interested enough about him to get to know and care for him.
Another story, the minister’s father passed away 7 years ago after having been hospitalised in several nursing homes for almost 30 years. All these years he had been in constant pain. And whenever his son visited him, he so often felt depressed watching him in pain. Then, one day his son asked him what was the hardest thing to bear in the nursing home. Do you know his answer? He didn’t say it was the pain, rather he said it was loneliness. But the thing is he was always with one or two other patients in the room and he was surrounded by many caretakers, some of whom were nice and friendly. Yet, even good, nice and friendly caretakers couldn’t help his father’s loneliness. Why was that so?
No doubt it is always good to have friendly people around, but let me remind you of what someone once said. He said that what people really need is not friendly people but a friend. I for one would rather have one sincere friend than 100 friendly people around me. I assume you feel the same. In fact this is why Jesus came. He came to become my friend. He came to become your friend.
The scripture verses we just read talk about what happened in Jesus’ final moments just before he died on the cross. He had spent 3 years with the disciples and now He already had the last supper with His disciples and it was about the time to be arrested and to die on the cross and Jesus said to His disciples: “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” When He said, “someone lay down his life for his friends”, he was referring to Himself. He was going to lay down His own life for His disciples, whom He called His friends.
It wasn’t because they deserved such sacrifice. They were sinners just like you and I. Do you remember what they did? After the last supper, while Jesus was so troubled in His heart ahead of He death, they were arguing “among themselves about who would be the greatest among them.” (Luke 22:24)
After having been under Jesus’ example and teaching and training for 3 years or so, they still cared more about being the leader of their group and their own reputation than the friendship among themselves. How about you and me? As followers of Christ perhaps for many years, do you and I care for our friendship with others more than our own status and reputation? That is a good question ?
If we are lonely and if we don’t have real friends, let’s not blame others; instead let’s blame ourselves because it is us who care more about our possessions, our need, and our reputation than our relationship with other brother and sisters in Christ. We may be nice and friendly but we are not ready to go all the way for others so that we may become their friends because we always have our own things to take care of and we as the master of our lives have our own plans and ways to follow as of primary importance.
In fact that's exactly what sin is all about and why Jesus had to die. 700 years earlier before Jesus’ death, a prophet named Isaiah prophesied why Jesus had to die, saying, “All of us, like sheep, have strayed away. We have left God's paths to follow our own. Yet the LORD laid on him the sins of us all.” (Isaiah 53:6)
Sin is like sheep which strays away, following his own way. But, the Bible says, “Jesus himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds we have been healed. For we were straying like sheep, but have now returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of our souls.(1 Peter 2:24-25) We were straying as we followed our own way, but now we have returned to Jesus, the Shepherd and Overseer of our soul
And this is how we know what love is because Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. 1 Jn 3:16 Jesus took the initiative and loved sinners in that He as the Son of God came in flesh to this world and died for us on the cross. Jesus’ disciples didn’t care about Him, but rather they argued among themselves who would be the greatest among them, they all except John ran away from Him and Peter even denied Him, yet Jesus called them His friends and went ahead and died on the cross for them and for us.
His death on the cross reveals how much He wanted to become our friends. In fact, the bible says, He died so that whether we are alive and die we may live together with Him. Our friendship with Jesus Christ is not only for here and now but will go beyond our death in this world. Indeed, We will live with Him forever and He is our friend forever.
He died on the cross. Can you believe that’s how much he wanted us to become His friends? Indeed, He died on the cross so that He may become our friend. But, that was not enough, Jesus talked about another condition for us to become His friends. “V. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command you.” And His commandment was in v. 12 that we love one another as Jesus have loved us. Jesus was saying that if we are His friends then we have to love other people as Jesus has loved us. Jesus was saying that if we are friends of Jesus then we should become friends to one another.
But, is this what happening among Christians nowadays? Unfortunately, it seems, some churches are not much different from our neighbour and nursing home or work place. Our churches can be full of nice and friendly people, but the question is, is anyone willing to go all the way to offer himself or herself to be a real friend of others. No wonder Church can be full of lonely people like any other group and club. Any given moment people are ready to leave to join another church. They may be forever committed to Jesus but never committed to other brothers and sisters in Christ.
But, Jesus says, the real sign of being His disciples is to love other brothers and sisters in the Lord, which means being committed to each other. Though we have to commit ourselves to Christ and though we have to love Jesus with all our souls, Jesus didn't say, if you love me just as I loved you you are my disciples. Rather He said, If you love one another as I have loved you, you are my disciples and my friends.. (We are talking about a serious matter) If you love only Jesus but not your brothers then you may not be Jesus’ friend.
We can love our brothers because Jesus first loved us. Since we came to know what love is because Jesus Christ laid down his life for us, we can and we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters. (1 Jn 3:16) Because Jesus loves us, He expects us to become friends to one another, committed to one another to the point that we can offer our own lives for others.
I don’t mean to say, You have to love and care for all the Christians you know. I don’t mean to say you have to make all Christians your friends. God knows our limitation that’s why He never asked us to love all the world, but our neighbour. In the letter Paul sent to Ephesians, he defines church as neighbour and family of God. That’s why if you are serious about making friends and becoming friends in order to follow Jesus’ commandment, you have to join a church and make a commitment to the church. Jesus was a loving person and He wants us to become like him so that His followers and His church may live in a loving relationship with this lonely world.
Here is a remarkable story from the American revolutionary war. In The Grace of Giving, Stephen Olford tells of a Baptist pastor during the American Revolution, Peter Miller, who lived in Ephrata, Pennsylvania, and enjoyed the friendship of George Washington. In Ephrata also lived Michael Wittman, an evil-minded sort who did all he could to oppose and humiliate the pastor. One day Michael Wittman was arrested for treason and sentenced to die. Peter Miller traveled seventy miles on foot to Philadelphia to plead for the life of the traitor.
"No, Peter," General Washington said. "I cannot grant you the life of your friend." "My friend!" exclaimed the old preacher. "He's the bitterest enemy I have." "What?" cried Washington. "You've walked seventy miles to save the life of an enemy? That puts the matter in different light. I'll grant your pardon." And he did. Peter Miller took Michael Wittman back home to Ephrata--no longer an enemy but a friend.
Let’s pray. We didn’t know what love is until we came to know Jesus who laid down His life for us. Now that we know what love is, we want to follow Jesus’ example of laying down our lives for our brothers and sisters in Christ. Lord, help us. Holy Spirit, fill us our hearts with the love of Jesus.